Top 10 Reasons the Burger King Retired

Burger King has announced the retirement of the uber-creepy mascot, “The King.” They claim it’s because of slumping sales, but I think there might be more to it than that. Here, in no particular order, are the top ten possible reasons the King took off the crown:

1. He’s taken a position in the Obama Administration as the “Burger Czar.”

2. He wanted to spend more time with his family.

3. Burger King was inspired by the democratic uprisings of the “Arab Spring.”

4. He developed moral reservations after finally tasting one of the burgers.

5. He’s pursuing a career in a more sophisticated environment.

6. His new slogan “Let them eat cake!” wasn’t playing as well as expected.

7. He was forced to abdicate by forces unleashed in Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative.

8. This was one impersonator of “the King” that even Elvis complained about.

9. There was that embarrassing moment when he met President Obama.


by Glenn McCoy

10. Two words: Restraining Order.

How about you? Did the BK King creep you out? What do you think is the reason for his retirement? Share your favorite mascot in the comment section.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Top 10 Reasons the Burger King Retired

  1. I am a friend of The King and resent your disparaging remarks about Elvis.

    Of course the obvious reason for his departure is that he finally had it his way.

    Hope you have been well. My web time has been restricted as my sore back has prevented me from carrying my laptop to the hospital.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s