Are you outraged yet? You should be! If you’re not, you’re either unaware of the situation or you just don’t care.
Here are seven justifications for Social Media Outrage:
– I’m outraged about all the ills in the world that matter to me. You are wrong to not be doing more about them. Obviously you don’t care.
– I’m outraged about the wrong I perceive others are doing. You are wrong for not expressing complete agreement with my perception. Apparently you don’t care.
– I’m outraged that you’re not outraged. If you aren’t upset, you are just as guilty as those doing wrong. Clearly you don’t care.
– I’m outraged at all who have ever been associated with the wrongdoers. You will publicly renounce associations, encounters, and inferences of appreciation of all types, if you really care.
– I’m outraged that you’re outraged about things I’m not outraged about. I find your lack of discernment disturbing. How could you care about such trivial issues while being oblivious to things that truly matter?
– I’m outraged at the insufficient apologies of the accused. You naively accept their obviously faux-repentance because you lack the intelligence to detect their hypocrisy. And deep down you don’t really care.
– I’m outraged that your outrage is not as fervent as mine. You MUST be as outraged as I am. An inadequate expression of concern is the same as no concern at all and you are just as guilty as those doing wrong. You. Just. Don’t. Care.
Mostly, I’m just outraged about how wrong you are. If you only cared.
Editorial Addendum: After posting this, it has occurred to me that some may not realize this post is tongue-in-cheek. And that outrages me.