Seven Steps to “Winning” an Argument on Social Media

After years of observation, I feel I have discovered a sure-fire strategy to dominate social media. I am seeing this method being mastered by some Christians on both sides of current debates so obviously it is acceptable for Christian use.

Step #1 – Misrepresent your opponent’s view. Most will not recognize this familiar logical fallacy, and those who do can be easily labelled with whatever epithet serves to summarily dismiss their counter-argument.

Step #2 – Equate this misrepresentation with something morally repugnant. No need to be precise, simply use relatively accurate words – the more inflammatory, the better.

Step #3 – Analogize this morally repugnant misrepresentation to a historical view/person/event which is even more morally repugnant. Ignore the significant difficulties of historical analogies. (Nazis, cannibals, or zombies are especially effective here – use them if at all possible)

Step #4 – Express shock that professed “Christians” (make sure and use quotation marks to subtly express uncertainty of the validity of their profession) would hold such a detestable view.

Step #5 – Profess great Christian love for those with whom you are disagreeing. Make clear that you are NOT questioning the Christianity of those whose Christianity you have just so subtly called into question in Step #4.

Step #6 – Rest in smug assurance that you are untouchable, and the more your opponent protests the inaccuracy of your description or the weakness of your historical analogy the guiltier they will sound.

Step #7 – Celebrate another social media victory with your friends, family, and sycophants, knowing that the medium is not conducive to in-depth, civil discussion of nuanced, complex subjects.

*Editorial disclaimer: This strategy is not intended to be taken as a serious suggestion for appropriate online behavior. It is merely offered as a public service announcement to all my friends, sycophants, and cannibalistic, Nazi zombies, The content is solely my own and should not be attributed to my family, church, or aged grand-mother.

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